So apparently I don't understand the blogging world anymore. Seeing as I had to make another blog. Starting fresh is always great right? so if this is long and out of order or jumbled words and sentences, I have been typing here and there for weeks while the kiddos are napping. We are now the Robins party of 5. I say party, because my life feels pretty amazing, and I have so many things to be grateful for, and who doesn't like a party?. I have been meaning to write up my "birth story" so to speak, so I don't forget my thoughts and feelings about my pregnancy, labor and birth.
I will start a little bit before the twins birth. Actually I want to remember it all so I will start from the beginning. Finding out I was pregnant with another set of twins was pretty awesome. My heart was completely broken when I lost my first set of twins. The thought of having twins was exciting and scary. More scary then exciting at times. Once I saw that my babies were gone I felt completely empty inside. I felt like someone punched my stomach and then removed my insides. I told myself that they would come back to me one day. I heard, "don't get your hopes up".... a lot. I figured they wouldn't come back, but positive thoughts were what I needed and what got me through the first few months.
Early on in my pregnancy I was having a lot of pain and thought I was going to miscarry again. David and I went to the emergency room to see what was causing the pain. That night we saw one healthy little "tic tac" that's what the baby looked like. David said, "are you sure there is only one baby?" The nurse replied, " yes, one healthy baby." We found out that night I had two subchorionic hemorrhages. So basically I had, two pockets of blood accumulating in the outer fetal membrane, next to the placenta. not uncommon for pregnancies, but not something i wanted to hear after already losing two babies. I wasn't put on bed rest, but I was asked to refrain from cleaning, exercise, pretty much everything until they absorbed or disappeared. By my 15 week check up I think that's when they were finally gone.
At 11 weeks I went in to see my OB for my first real check up. We talked about the miscarriage and how exciting it was to be pregnant again and how I would probably feel scared this pregnancy and worried a lot. We went in the room to do our ultrasound and I saw two cute little babies on the
screen. My doctor was pretty shocked, as was David. The doctor said in his 30 years of practice he
has never seen two sets of identical twins back to back. So pretty much at this point I said, "so can I come see you once a week until I feel comfortable about this pregnancy"? He said of course and that's what I did. We became very good friends with all the nurses that's for sure. Can you believe it? Another set of twins? I was so incredibly shocked, and that pain I had felt for months from losing the previous twins was instantly gone and replaced with excitement and nervousness.
I get really sick while pregnant, really really sick, to where (maybe too much information for some but this is for my memory, for when I ask for another baby some day. Haha). I'm puking and puking and nothing helps me. And don't forget that while I'm puking I pee myself every time. This is why i stay out of public places in the beginning of my pregnancies. I was sick with Indie, but my hormones were doubled times 2 this go around (obviously) and it felt even worse. I had nights where I couldn't breath because I had puked so much and my throat was bleeding and swollen. I was in and out of the hospital getting IV's. One day they gave me three bags of fluid and did a urine sample, and I was still dehydrated. I would drink and drink fluids but for the most part could never keep it down. I would have good days and bad days. The bad days always out number the good days in the first 3 to 4 months. BUT... I am now very familiar with many hospitals in salt lake county. (if thats a good thing) At about 18 weeks I was starting to feel pretty good. I was getting my energy back and was really starting to enjoy my bump.
At 19 weeks I started seeing a Perinatogist "high risk" doctor. So I had my OB appointments at Alta View hospital and my high risk at IMC. My doctor couldn't deliver the twins unless they made it to
35 weeks, due to the NICU levels. At 19 weeks is when we found out the boys were sharing one placenta. So one placenta, but in separate sacks. (which you could barely see at most times.) It took about 35 minutes for them to find the membrane for the first time and it took about 20 minutes every week to find it again. The scary part about one placenta is the boys we're sharing nutrients. So sharing one placenta can lead to TTTS, twin to twin transfusion syndrome. This is when the blood supply of one twin moves to the other. The twin losing the blood would be the donor and the one receiving the blood would be the recipient. Both babies could have major problems if TTTS were to take place. I had to go in weekly and have the amniotic fluid levels checked. Brayden "baby b" always had low levels of amniotic fluid, so at first the doctors were worried. His levels always stayed the same low amount, so they assumed it could have been from the shape of my uterus. Brayden also has a multicystic dysplastic kidney. He has one functioning kidney. His other kidney didn't "mold" correctly as it was forming in the womb. This could have happened due to my egg splitting and it was a defect. A great defect to get if you have to have one I suppose. You can live and function normally with one kidney. Also, something I hope to never have happen or done, but Brayden has an identical twin brother with two healthy kidneys if he ever needed a donor. Brayden is seen by an awesome Nephrologist every few months to check on his healthy kidney to make sure it is working properly. So far his one kidney is very healthy and they don't see why he would have problems with it.
After finding out about TTTS and the one functioning kidney I started bawling in the doctors office. (This is when I learned that doctors talk more about the negatives happening than the positives). The high risk doctor asked David and I if we would like to terminate our pregnancy so we wouldn't have to go through any complications. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? The look on my face, I'm sure, answered their question. I have the cutest little boys ever. They are healthy happy little guys. I am so blessed to have them. I couldn't imagine terminating a pregnancy.
The rest of my pregnancy went really well. The hype over TTTS was finally settling down and things were becoming more normal and comfortable again. I started seeing the doctors twice a week to check on the babies. Our high risk doctor said he didn't see any reason why I wouldn't make it to 37 weeks. I laugh now, because doctors really have no say when your baby or babies are coming, when they choose to come they come.
On March 29th I woke up feeling really crummy. I was having some contractions which was a normal thing for me so I didn't think too much about it. David was working that day so Indie and I laid in my bed and watched lots of cartoons. I took a bath that afternoon and that seemed to help. By the night of the 29th I was too uncomfortable to lay at all and I couldn't sleep. The next morning after being up all night we went in to labor and delivery at Alta View to see what was going on. Sure enough I was having contractions. Lots of them. I was given nifedipine to try and stop labor and it just wasn't working. I was given my steroid shots just in case the boys decided to come early, that way their lungs would be developed.They gave me my fetal fibronectin test which tells you if you will go in to labor or not with in the next 7 days or so. Mine came back negative so they told me not to worry, I wouldn't be going in to labor anytime soon. (not an accurate test obviously, which I already knew) They kept me over night to make sure my contractions lessened. I was only dilated to 1.5 cm so they weren't too worried at this point. The next morning I was having less contractions and felt pretty good so they sent me home. My doctor told me if I had anymore problems I needed to go to IMC because he didn't want me to come in and be sent over in an ambulance to IMC. I was about 32 weeks at this point. As soon as I got home I felt horrible again. They told me I would feel this way for many weeks. I literally did not get more than 45 mins of sleep every night. I was so uncomfortable and miserable. I couldn't sit for long periods at a time and I couldn't lay down at all. It was horrible. A couple days later I was back at the hospital, this time IMC and having constant contractions again. (Or should I say still) I was still dilated to 1.5 cm so I went home. By Friday April 4th I was in so much pain. I could barely take it. David and I didn't want to go back to the hospital because we knew they would send us home again. Friday night I was in tears. I had been pumped full of so many IV fluids during the week to see if it would stop contractions that my body was completely swollen. My stomach felt like it was going to rip open when I would move. My feet were so big my socks didn't fit. My huge baggy sweatpants were turning in to spandex. It was horrible. On Saturday morning April 5th I told David I had to go to the hospital. I felt like the babies were going to come. The drive to the hospital felt like my drive to the hospital when i was in labor with Indie. I knew that these babies were going to come. I didn't want them to, but they had other plans.
We get to the hospital and they check my cervix. At this point I was dilated to 5cm. The high risk doctor told me the babies would be coming today. They did an ultrasound to check on the positions of the boys and they were both breech. Ashton "baby a" was head down just a day before and we thought for sure I would be able to deliver these boys vaginally. Since both boys were breech I needed to have a cesarean section. I asked the doctor if we could give the baby's a couple hours and see if Ashton would go head down again. She said yes and we waited. Nothing happened and he wouldn't turn so I was prepped for a c-section.
They wheeled me in to the operating room and told me they would hold up the babies as they were born so I could see them, but that they would be taken through a window in to the NICU. I think at this point from all the drugs I was given I turned off my emotions and just went with the flow. I so badly wanted a natural birth and to cuddle my boys as soon as they were born, but that wasn't the case this pregnancy. I was happy to do whatever I needed to do to keep them healthy and safe. The boys were born on April 5th at 1:14 pm and 1:15 pm. Ashton was born first and then Brayden. I cried as I got to quickly see them and watch them go through the open window. I was happy and relieved that they were both healthy. Ashton weighed 4lbs 4oz and Brayden was 3lbs 10oz. They were actually very big for their gestation, and the fact there were two babies. I fell in love with them immediately. The c-section it's self wasn't too bad. I have read a lot about Caesarian sections and have watched quite a few videos on them. I'm a certified child birth educator so Im required to know about all births, and I knew my chances of having a c-section were much greater with twins so I did a lot of research. I thought I would be sore and couldn't walk or do anything but I was up and walking as soon as the medication wore off and I could feel my feet again. The hardest part about the recovery was, I felt like a completely normal person with out pain but I couldn't lift heavy things. That was annoying. I also wonder if recovery wasn't so bad for me because I never had time to recover. I didn't have time to lay in bed and relax. I had two awesome, cute little babies in the NICU that I wanted to be with. I also had Indie at home who wanted my attention too. A vaginal birth is definitely much more enjoyable. The one thing that I enjoyed most about the c-section was, the catheter. Not getting up to pee every 2 minutes was pretty amazing.
I am so grateful for my boys, and for the journey that I went through to have them. Because of them, I look at the world in a completely different way. I love more, and worry less about the small things. I love every single minute of everyday I have with them and with Indie. Some days are harder than others but I wouldn't trade my life for anything.
